Please, visit your national bars!

To all those celebrating the bask-worthy sunlight, as well as the seemingly endless creative well that the uncut grass and vagrant trash has provided for our city: I salute you! To all those sitting inside (as I am at this very moment - hypocrisy abounds...): please go visit your national parks. This post, which will be invariably short in nature, is to inform you on the lovely topic that is Phog Phest. Read on!

A few months ago, CBC Radio 3 (Their Searchlight section, in particular) held a poll to discover an establishment worthy of the title, "The Best Live Music Venue In Canada". Thousands of entries heaped in, from B.C to Newfoundland, and by the end of the month only 10 entries remained. The most surprising of these entries was Windsor's own The Phog Lounge. Housing only a meager 75, compared to the some-odd-hundreds of the other entries, The Phog Lounge was the smallest venue on the list. The shocked lingered on after this minuscule establishment took home the gold, which included the promise of a national touring band playing a show at the victorious establishment.

One moment, the ice cream truck just drove by my house.

Anyway, Windsor is a city of extremes, I live here after all, from the minimal wages to the maximum number of strippers per square foot. Bearing this in mind, The Phog Lounge has decided to throw a festival where said group will play, along with almost 30 other bands, ranging from the local to the... not local. The corner of Victoria and University will be blocked off for this show. This free ($15 for the licensed), 13 hour festival will include the likes of Holy Fuck (our prized band), The Pack A.D, The Arkells and Chatam's own Square Root of Margaret. These are just four of the near 30 bands who will be performing through the evening.

I present to you the schedule for this HIGHLY-anticipated event (by myself, and Windsor-ites in particular):

Ron Leary & Kelly Hoppe | 1:00pm - main stage
Square Root of Margret | 1:30pm - main stage
(WH)Y.M.E.(??) | 2:00pm - phog stage
Eric Welton Band | 2:30pm - phog stage
Tara Watts Band | 3:00pm - phog stage
ASK | 3:30pm - phog stage
James O-L & the Villains | 4:00pm - phog stage
The Locusts Have No King | 4:30pm - phog stage
Yellow Wood | 5:00pm - main stage
Green Go | 5:40 - main stage
Arkells | 6:30pm - main stage
Holy Fuck | 7:30pm - main stage
Michou | 8:30pm - phog stage
Pat Robitaille | 9:00pm - main stage
Megan Hamilton and The Volunteer Canola | 9:30pm - phog stage
Field Assembly | 10:00pm - main stage
Peace Leeches | 10:30 - phog stage
The Kramdens | 11:00pm - main stage
Orphan Choir | 11:30pm - phog stage
Fjord Rowboat | 12:00am - main stage
The Pack AD | 12:30am - main stage
Citywide Vacuum | 1:00am - phog stage
What Seas, What Shores | 1:30am - phog stage
END 2:00am

This event is going to be monstrous, so until then, let this video of Holy Fuck's greatest track "Lovely Allen" hold you over...

Have a lovely day, and I can confidentially tell you that there will FINALLY be a new post tomorrow!

By the way, visit www.thephogblog.blogspot.com for more Phog Phest information,

and if you possess a sterling set of ears, go listen to Neko Case's new album, Middle Cyclone.

Too tired to shine, dependent on the kindness of strangers and lawyers

Grizzly Bear Performing "Two Weeks" Last Night on Later... With Jools Holland

Before this post officially stops with a blunt and pretentious introduction, I'd just like to say that Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest is officially released in two weeks (WOAH!) and the countdown has officially begun. Although the album has already leaked, my faithful ears have yet to hear anything other than Cheerleader and Two Weeks. The verdict? I'm content with throwing up every record I've ever owned. Yeah, that good.

BACK TO THE FUTURE!

Hello my lovely friends, and welcome to what seems like another harrowing evening, here on Looks Like Coffee, Tastes Like Juice. After what could only have been 24 hours of writing about the idiosyncrasies of Mercutio, in comparison with Romeo (granted, it was only an hour), I'm finally prepared to retire and unleash upon the world the mighty power of the Mother's Day Mixtape. Lock up your mothers, ladies, this one's a little intense...

15 Years Of Torment & Bio-hazardous Threats To My Life Haven't Made Me Hate You Yet;
An Official Looks Like Coffee, Tastes Like Mother's Day Mixtape!

Warning: This mixtape contains extremely bitchin'... I mean explicit content. So, for fucks sake, don't show it to your mom.
Warning: If your mother has a sense of humor, or has lost her hearing aid, you can probably disregard that last message. Also, immigrant parents who haven't yet learned English apply as well.

01 Her Majesty - The Beatles (For my second mother, Kaitlyn)
02 Your Mother Loves You, Son - Beulah
03 Mother & Child Reunion (Paul Simon Cover) - Grizzly Bear
04 Mothers, Sisters, Daughters, & Wives - Voxtrot
05 Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth - Neko Case
06 Mother - Pink Floyd (For Daniella)
07 We Share Our Mother's Health - The Knife (For Kacper, the one I'd never bring home to my mother...)
08 It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding) - Bob Dylan
What's that?! Did you hear a bonus track? I thought so!
09 Bitches Ain't Shit - Dr. Dre (Because whenever the topic of women comes up in front of my mother, these words basically escape her lips)

So, share the love with your creators today, and look forward to a post tomorrow. Or don't, because apparently, I'm not so good with these promise things.

Love, love, love, letters, lobotomy, legume, love.